Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Gum Throb - A day in a life

There's a heartthrob. And now there's a gum throb.

The big difference?

According to Urban Dictionary, a heartthrob is described as
"A person of superior physical quality who inspires amorous emotions of the
opposite sex."
 
A gum throb on the other hand absolutely does not inspire any "amorous emotions of the opposite sex" or in one self for that matter.

 How does one acquire a gum throb you ask? Well, there are plenty of ways really. You can go for the free route; gingivitis, pulling your teeth, biting on something that should not be bitten, gum disease to name a few.

How did I get this gum throb? Well, it started at an early morning visit to my dentist and orthodontist and ending with me lamenting on how I can't even eat a cookie the nice lady from Subway gave me this morning.

Every 2 months or so I visit my orthodontist (known simply as Dr. Braces ) and must endure being laid out on a cold dental office, shivering, hands folded together or under my butt in a futile attempt to keep warm. Not mentioning that my mouth must be stretched in weird directions, my gums and teeth in the mercy of the dental technician. She armed with pliers, cutters, pokey metal things and even a lighter. Yes a lighter! - the same one used to light up a cigarette or commit heinous crimes like arson. What a lighter has to do with teeth is mind boggling.  My small reward for this? My teeth had one hour of freedom from the all the above mentioned metal contraptions. Ever dental cleaning must have a prerequisite of having all your wires taken out. And I get a glimpse and feel of what it felt like to have my teeth bare and naked again. What a glorious feeling. What a hopeful feeling!!

Up next was an exciting visit to the dentist for my cleaning. I actually look forward to this every visit. Having braces makes it super hard to floss in between teeth, wires, elastics, figure eights and whatever metal contraption is on my small mouth. Not to mention I have very small teeth! Oh Lord have mercy on my poor gums! An hour of torture, drooling, gagging and being sprayed on the face with water while my teeth and cheeks get accidentally sucked in by the suction hose. My new dental hygienist, a nice enough lady, was chatty and upbeat which made my appointment a tolerable one. She was sensitive to my winces and comforted me that according to my chart, the degree of plaque on my teeth has gotten better. *cheer time Wooot Woot* She also gifted me with a toothbrush, dental floss and brace picks. Really!? This is one of the downsides to growing up. We don't even get stickers anymore. Or bouncy balls. Even a pencil would be nice!

So now I'm here finally eating soft foods, while the aforementioned cookie is sitting on the side, mocking me. "Haha you can't eat me!", says the evil cookie. Seriously, the lady at Subway that gave me the two free cookies this morning must have been in on the conspiracy along with the dentist and the orthodontists and their hygienists. They must be cackling away. Ha! Cookie lady of my woe, you might as well have given me a brick to chew on!

Good news is in a couple of hours, gum throb will be leaving me in peace. He will dissipate and I shall be left alone to relish this cookie in peaceful harmony. My taste buds singing and my spirit soaring.

There will be no more owwie in my gummy but a cookie that's yummy in my tummy.

Until next time Dr. Braces and Dr. Yanks and Prods.

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